


Personal Gains

by TheoMiller



Series: harry kim's list of potential boyfriends [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Gen, Harry-Nog Command Team, I Blame Tumblr, M/M, POV Outsider, Post-Canon, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheoMiller/pseuds/TheoMiller
Summary: Harry/Quark (you heard me!), set in a post canon au where Harry and Nog are first officer and captain of the Enterprise. Nog has a very bad week. Harry and Quark are enjoying themselves, though.





	Personal Gains

**Author's Note:**

> Um. Well. I promised to write a fic for whomever won the Best Boyfriend For Harry Kim poll.
> 
> Hit me up at @official-harry-kim and @heroscafe on tumblr for more poor life choices

Nog leaned on the buzzer for his first officer's quarters. He could hear Harry talking, the familiar rise and fall he usually hears from the other side of the bulkhead. Maybe he's talking to the Parises.

 _Please, please, Blessed Exchequer, don't let Uncle be here_.

"Enter!" Harry called.

Uncle Quark was sitting opposite Harry in the violet armchairs that adorned the center of Harry's quarters.

His uncle had a glass of what looked to be fermented slug juice, and Harry had his usual, some strange Human mixed drink made with a Klingon liquor. Nog realized with a half-sinking, half-nauseated feeling that they'd been there a while, nursing their drinks and apparently chatting away.

Prophets, he had a headache from all this.

His nightmare had begun some three days ago. Uncle Quark had arranged to use his position as a Ferengi diplomat (by virtue of Father being the Grand Nagus) to get a Starfleet escort to Remus, no doubt for some money making opportunity that Nog couldn't look into without risking being forced to arrest his uncle. And he'd told Jake when he got the orders that the Enterprise would be docked at Deep Space Nine for about 38 hours, if he wanted to meet them there?

And then they may have pranked Harry.

Because yes, he and his first officer had moved past their initially rocky start, but it was still fun to tease him. And it'd been a while since he and Jake had gotten to prank anyone. 

Unfortunately, Harry had taken especial exception to his skin being dyed fluorescent orange, and Ezri had done big, Disappointed eyes at them.

So. Bad enough to have pissed off both his second in command and the ship counselor in one go - Nog wouldn't be surprised if the furniture in his quarters wound up affixed to the ceiling - but then they'd had to wear dress uniforms to greet Uncle, which had been strange and uncomfortable and a little embarrassing. It was his uncle, not a real diplomat. Dress uniforms were unnecessary. And had entirely too little latinum thread.

"Ambassador Quark," Harry had said, with a grin Nog almost never saw. "Good to see you again - now that you're not trying to sell me overpriced tourist junk."

"Commander Kim," Nog had hissed.

But then Uncle Quark had smirked, in a way Nog had seen far too often for his tastes.

"Good times," he said. "You're looking a little less green, a little more... _experienced_."

Nog had turned to his uncle now, eyes wide. "Uncle!"

But worse than either one being offended, either by the challenge from Harry or the leer from Quark, they both seemed amused. No. It was even worse than that. They seemed companionable.

And it hadn't stopped. Harry had volunteered to give Uncle Quark a tour of the Enterprise, and when Ezri had said, "Make sure he keeps his hands to himself, he's not above messing with the ship," (fondly, at least, because Ezri liked Uncle Quark as much as Jadzia had), Harry had shrugged and said, "I don't know about to himself, but definitely not on the ship."

The Vault of Eternal Destitution would be better than this.

And now - after they'd come back laughing over something from the tour, after they'd entirely left Nog out of their conversation over dinner in the mess (about some ancient Human game called pool), after entirely too much flirting - Nog was faced with them sharing a drink in Harry's quarters.

"You can't do this!" Nog sputtered.

Harry took another sip of his drink.

"Do what, Nog?" Uncle Quark asked.

"It's Captain Nog, to you," he said, drawing himself up to his full height. 

Harry lowered his drink. "You're bursting into my quarters at... 2200 hours, on official business as captain?"

"Well. I. Uhhh. Yes," Nog said, fishing for a reason to be doing just that.

"Oh, good," Harry said. "Mind signing off on a form for me?" He passed a padd along.

Nog would sell his soul to a pagh-wraith for a measly strip of latinum right now if it got him out of this situation, because he was looking at the form for permission to engage in a physical relationship with a member of an alien species. Worse still, Dr. Kamal's thumbprint was already logged under the CMO's permission.

"Remember if you decline it, it has to be logged into the system as denied. With a valid reason," added Harry. As he spoke, his hand traced invisible patterns across Quark's hand. 

Nog narrowed his eyes. "How about denied because this is a - a farce, intentioned to exact revenge on me for dyeing your skin orange!"

"By all means, enter it into the logs that you dyed my skin orange," Harry said. "But I'm shocked at this treatment of your uncle. You think the only reason anyone would want to sleep with Quark is in revenge for one of your juvenile pranks?" 

Uncle Quark turned wide, hurt eyes on Nog.

Captain Nog of the USS Enterprise, decorated Starfleet officer, made a tactical decision to retreat. "Enjoy, uh, enjoy your evening!" He said.

* * *

 

Ezri eyed Nog curiously the next morning, but aside from refusing to look at Harry during all of Alpha Shift, he played it pretty cool.

"Is Quark up to something?" She asked him, when they were off duty.

"What?" He said guiltily. Then he processed what she meant. "Oh, no, Uncle isn't doing anything illegal - that i know of."

"But he is doing something. And it's something to do with Harry."

Nog groaned. "I don't want to talk about it. Or think about it."

"That's usually a good indicator that you need to talk about it, so you can process it," said Ezri, in her Therapist Voice. "What's going on, Nog?"

"Harry seduced my uncle," he snapped.

Ezri's eyebrows did a complicated little surprised dance. Then she composed herself with visible effort. "What, uh, what makes you say that?"

"He told me! Filed paperwork and everything. I should fire Dr. Kamal, who knows what disgusting Human diseases Harry could give Uncle Quark."

"I think the other way around is - hey, wait a minute, Nog! Harry is a grown man, and so is Quark. If they want to carry on a - relationship... they can..." she broke down into giggles. "Harry! And Quark!"

He glared. "It's not funny!"

She laughed even harder. "I don't know if it is but Jadzia - and Curzon - hehehehehehehehehehe, oh, gosh, Nog, I'm sorry, but your face!"

Disgusted, Nog stomped away. Ezri gasped out apologies between bouts of laughter. 

He avoided Harry and Ezri and Uncle Quark until the rendezvous with the Valiant, which was going to Remus directly so the Enterprise didn't have to take a detour. 

"Goodbye, Uncle," Nog said stiffly. Quark huffed and patted his shoulder, and then spread hiss arms for s hug from Ezri, who obliged him with a smile.

Then there was Harry, who said, "Safe travels and heavy pockets," in passable Ferengi, and then had the audacity to wink at Uncle Quark.

"Harry," Nog said carefully, when Quark had beamed aboard the Valiant, and they were walking back towards the bridge, "you didn't really - I mean - that was just a prank, right?"

"Hmm," Harry said. There was a poorly suppressed grin tugging at his lips. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"He didn't, did he?" He asked Ezri.

Ezri shrugged. "Your Uncle Quark is pretty charming when he wants to be."

"He is, isn't he?" Harry said. "You know, if you'd told me that fifteen years ago, when i first met him, i would've thought you were insane. But he was... fun."

"Nog is always saying how we should go to Deep Space Nine for shore leave," said Ezri. "Aren't you, Nog?"

This was definitely a prank, Nog decided. It had to be. And no way would Harry Kim, believer in True Love, sleep with someone just for a prank. So it was just pretending, for the sake of a prank.

He let himself believe that.

But he also reluctantly marked his first officer as a no-prank zone. Just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> Did Quark and Harry sleep together? Was it just a prank? The galaxy may never know.
> 
> For my dear pals out West who spammed the Quark vote: may the mental image of Harry Kim giving Quark oomox haunt your dreams. 
> 
> Thanks for voting, everyone - and fear not, I'll be writing for the top five winning ships (technically six ships, because Wesley/Harry tied with another ship!)
> 
> If you catch any mistakes, well. I wrote and posted this on mobile.


End file.
